By Isidra Person-Lynn
Of course, when I think of Luther, I think
of the man. His music. But Luther has been with me and most of
us for decades. Because many of my friends from my New Jersey
home were satellites of his, partying with, working with and
traveling with him, I have met, hung out with and even briefly
interviewed him. Like most of my girlfriends, he struggled with
weight, gave us hope when he was winning the battle, then
ballooned upwards again. But big or small, we loved Luther.
Apparently, someone didn’t like
Luther (or "Lutha!" as we jokingly called him) because he died
at least three times before today, July 1, 2005. Over the
years, folks would call me, just as they did today, devastated
by the tragic news. Then a few hours later Luther would
surface, saying “I am still here.” One time, many years ago, a
good friend assured me that her cousin worked in the ICU of the
hospital where Luther “passed”, so her word was bond. Hmph.
Another Urban Legend.
Then, in 2003, we received the true news of
his stroke. But Luther wasn’t done sharing songs, so the
previously recorded "Dance with My Father" was released
and became a national favorite. Songs with him and Beyonce
floated over the airwaves. Oprah talked to him and we held out
hope that we would again hear Luther work that low rift to the
high notes that gave us all a thrill.
Just a little over a year ago, I was at a
conference and got a call from home that an email announcing
that Luther died had been received. Since I was in a group of
people that included other journalists, we all mourned and
reminisced together, but one sprang into action to get the scoop
only to be told later that it had been a cruel hoax.
So, today, for the last time, we got the
news that Luther had indeed passed. I was still waiting for the
other shoe to drop—waiting for Luther to come back to life as he
always had in the past, and assure us it was another cruel
hoax. Who are these people with so much time on their hands?
And why do they target Luther?
It had been a momentous day. Our new
Mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa had been sworn in, Justice Sandra
Day O’Conner announced she would step down. I had stopped by
Gail Parker’s house who often scooped me on the latest news when
I received a call on my cell from Kathy Williamson, editor of
the Los Angeles Sentinel. She told me mournfully “Luther
passed.”
No. I thought. I was almost relieved when
she said she’d received word from the Internet, so I cautioned
her about my experience with these hoaxes. But Kathy assured me
that this time, it was the truth. Gail surfed the Net for news
and sadly, it wasn’t long before it was confirmed by Yahoo news
and a special bulletin from KJLH. Clearly, the way we get news
has changed and if you are waiting for TV or even your favorite
news site to beat the immediacy of an email or a phone call, you
are mistaken.
After the news sunk in, I drove home down
Crenshaw in the heat, sun roof open, California dreaming. I
rolled my windows down, turned to KJLH and after another Jacquie
Stephens’ report, blasted Luther. I swear, hundreds of others
had the same idea and we were all blasting KJLH, the Beat and
Power 106 which had open phones. I would tell anyone who looked
like they were just in the mid day crisis the sad news about
Luther and they invariably responded in shock. It reminded me
of the day I learned Bob Marley died. Mental note: When you
hear back to back songs by the same artist on black radio you
know they were trying to tell you something.
I continued homeward, serenaded by this
cacophonous communal mourning of Luther, blaring radios, folks
stuck in traffic and not even mad.
Luther meant many things to many people,
but the one thing personally I will always be grateful for was
the number of people he hired and helped build their careers.
One such person was my friend Elijah Reeder. Before Elijah
started working with Luther, he was kind of floundering around,
hanging around with all of us New Jersey transplants, trying to
get his foot in the door from his apartment near mine in
Compton. Elijah played at the fringes of the good life, always
borrowing his sister-in-law’s Mercedes 450 SLC then taking my college
friends and me to the concert with the top down. Oh, you
couldn’t tell us anything.
When Elijah was hired as Luther’s personal
assistant, he became responsible for keeping Luther on program
when he lost all that weight.
One night, at my sisterfriend Paulette's, some of the
guys and I were chowing down on her famous fried chicken.
Luther stoically passed up the plate -- to which I did a
double take-- because no one had ever refused Paulette's
fried chicken before. That was during his first thin
episode and he preferred to be down on the floor, where he
got his kicks thumbing through her extensive library of
oldies--and leaving with an armload of 'em.
At a friend's housewarming I got to just sit and talk with
him, and of all we talked about, I remember how he was upset
that The Jeffersons reruns had been moved from his
favorite night...(shows you how long ago that was!)
Elijah grew to be a solid force
in Luther’s very private enterprise, but then Elijah grew ill, much too
early on. I remember on his death bed when I pleaded with him to
keep fighting, he said resignedly, “We had fun didn’t we?” You
see, through his association with Luther, he travelled all over the
world, lived the high life and brought joy to us, especially
Paulette. Luther and Elijah would bring back
expensive Italian shoes to Paulette and they let her drive their
high end cool cars, experiences she gladly shared with me. In
fact, the last thing I remember of Luther was the story of his
visit to Paulette, now residing in D.C, leaving her these
beautiful piano shaped music boxes.
Luther’s songs have punctuated our
lives…when Having a Party, with the Here and Now
of getting married, when Creeping, and when the House
is not a Home. It was Never Too Much.
He was an ordinary man who did
extraordinary things with the life God gave him God rest his
soul.
Read Steve Ivory's Column in EUR on Luther:
Here
For more:
www.luthervandross.com:
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In Remembrance of Luther
Please, Don't Blow Off
Mother's Day
Men have a hard
time come Mother's Day. They have the burden of
making sure their mothers feel duly commemorated AND
many have wives/girlfriends to honor as well. Men who only
get something for their own mothers because "you're
not my mother" are
missing the point. Brother, you are setting the standard for
children who are watching you and developing their habits for
life. If your children grow up blowing off these days of
commemoration because you did not teach them the joys of
gift giving, trust me, they are setting themselves up for a life of
angry or hurt mothers and wives. Even in the
business world, gift giving makes the world go 'round.
Now, I am not one to get all capitalistic for these
man made holidays. But of all the contrived money making
holidays there are, Mother's Day is one that is well deserved and a
necessity. I urge you to seek out black owned businesses
when you are spending money. There are many sources to
find out where they are and once you begin the habit you
will find other referrals and find that your trips to
the mall become less frequent and you will order things
from these business owners who will become your friends
(and may hire your children!)
And to mothers, please STOP saying "Oh, don't bother
about getting me a gift!" Men can be quite literal
and may take you at your word. Girl children know
to ignore this response to "So, Mom, what do you want
for Mother's Day?" and they will get you something
anyway. But boys will protest "But she said
she didn't want anything!"
Why are mother's day gifts so important? Because most Moms
think of themselves last and this is the one day she is first.
Also, because most of your mother's friends are also mothers and
if her friend says on Monday morning about how much her
children/spouse did for her and your Mom/wife has NOTHING to
say, that is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world,
because she knows that question "So what did you get?" is
coming.
To be honest, I have missed more mother's days than I care to
mention. Mine is 3,000 miles away and is a shopper by
trade so I found it very difficult to get her something she did
not have, and get it there on time, or at all. Then the
Internet became my friend. 1-800-flowers was a favorite
last minute help. Also, a friend (who is now not in
the same business) would have the most beautiful flowers that
she would Fed-ex for me. You could go to the flower mart,
save a bundle and express mail some to your Mom too. If my
Mom were here I would love to treat her to the Body Clinic or
the many spas (black owned, too!) that have sprung up all over.
My Mother-in-law who is here is very good at giving us specifics
about what she wants and I have appreciated that for years.
She always picks something in our price range too!
Enjoy your Mother's Day with Mom. So many of my friends
have lost their own mothers and I know they wish they could.
Last Mother's Day was the first Mother's Day I was with my Mom
in decades, because we were together at my son's college
graduation. (Hampton University and many other black colleges
choose this day for graduation saying it's the best graduation
gift to give your Mom when the students are freshmen. I
loved this carrot approach!)
If you are strapped for cash, I'll bet Mom would love to have
you for a day of weeding out and fixing stuff she can no longer
get to, and a nice meal YOU prepare. Volunteer to get her
on the Internet so she can get in on all this photo swapping
going on. The 'Net is perfect for senior citizens! There
really is no excuse to make her day special. And oh, tell
your Mom I said "Happy Mother's Day!"
Check our list of exhibitors.
They are full of ideas! BACK TO HOME PAGE OF EXPOUDPATE.COM
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